Flirt like it’s predetermined

My mindset shifted from “Flirting to convince others to like me.” to “Flirting to discover who loves my relaxed self.”

Nov 2 • 

Chris Lakin

113

3

16

October 2025

“Wait, feelings are supposed to be IN THE BODY?”

Mentor: “…and how do you feel in your body about that?” Old me: “Wait, feelings are supposed to be IN THE BODY?”

Oct 29 • 

Chris Lakin

164

7

11

Unlearning one-shots, 1+ years later

~One-session cases.

Oct 25 • 

Chris Lakin

96

3

9

Why we create our suffering

Locally optimal strategies

Oct 22 • 

Chris Lakin

168

20

August 2025

Unlearning is Underrated.

We used to have immense trouble with flirting, saying ‘No’, and “self-acceptance”—and now we don’t.

Aug 25 • 

Chris Lakin

115

22

July 2025

How I'd rewrite The Courage to be Disliked

I read The Courage to be Disliked 7+ times in four years.

Jul 23 • 

Chris Lakin

121

10

20

June 2025

“Flaky breakthroughs” pervade inner work — but ~no practitioners track them

Has someone you know ever had a “breakthrough” from inner work—only to be no different a few weeks later?

Jun 4 • 

Chris Lakin

54

5

10

Happiness underneath

If we’re unhappy, things and experiences will make us happier… right?

Jun 3 • 

Chris Lakin

51

10

9

May 2025

Social anxiety isn't about being liked

There’s this popular idea that socially anxious folks are just dying to be liked.

May 16 • 

Chris Lakin

387

15

59

My model of progress was suboptimal

I used to believe that progress with insecurity looks like this—and it fucked me up:

May 6 • 

Chris Lakin

107

8

10

March 2025

Alignment first, intelligence later

Now that Softmax, my favorite new AI company, is public, I can finally share this.

Mar 30 • 

Chris Lakin

18

1

Case: Sid, lifelong romantic insecurity

Watch now (11 mins) | In a relationship now

Mar 8 • 

Chris Lakin

14

3

11:12