What went wrong when I matchmade my friends

74 of my friends were single and looking.

Dec 19 • Chris Lakin

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November 2025

Flirt like it’s predetermined

My mindset shifted from “Flirting to convince others to like me.” to “Flirting to discover who loves my relaxed self.”

Nov 2 • Chris Lakin

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October 2025

“Wait, feelings are supposed to be IN THE BODY?”

Mentor: “…and how do you feel in your body about that?” Old me: “Wait, feelings are supposed to be IN THE BODY?”

Oct 29 • Chris Lakin

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Unlearning one-shots, 1+ years later

Occasionally, someone’s satisfied after only ~one session.

Oct 25 • Chris Lakin

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Why we create our suffering

Locally optimal strategies

Oct 22 • Chris Lakin

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August 2025

Unlearning is Underrated.

We used to have immense trouble with flirting, saying ‘No’, and “self-acceptance”—and now we don’t.

Aug 25 • Chris Lakin

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July 2025

Rewriting The Courage to be Disliked

I read The Courage to be Disliked 7+ times in four years.

Jul 23 • Chris Lakin

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June 2025

“Flaky breakthroughs” pervade inner work — but ~no practitioners track them

Has someone you know ever had a “breakthrough” from inner work—only to be no different a few weeks later?

Jun 4 • Chris Lakin

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Happiness underneath

If we’re unhappy, things and experiences will make us happier… right?

Jun 3 • Chris Lakin

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May 2025

Social anxiety isn't about being liked

There’s this popular idea that socially anxious folks are just dying to be liked.

May 16 • Chris Lakin

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Progress isn't gradual

I used to believe that progress with feeling more secure was gradual:

May 6 • Chris Lakin

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March 2025

Alignment first, intelligence later

Now that Softmax, my favorite new AI company, is public, I can finally share this.

Mar 30 • Chris Lakin

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