Locally Optimal

Locally Optimal

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→ asking people out

Update: In a happy relationship now
Chris Lakin's avatar
Chris Lakin
Mar 08, 2025

Seven years of meditation and hundreds of hours of IFS therapy hadn’t gotten this AI researcher the results he wanted.

Screenshot of an X (Twitter)Chris Lakin @ChrischipMonkOctober 25, 2025123K views"extreme example: guy came for approach anxiety, went home, immediately fell asleep (at 5pm!), woke up with muscle soreness. within two weeks he'd asked out multiple crushes. several months later he asked out his gf" This tweet includes a quote of a tweet from Richard Ludlow (@richardludlow)"My conclusion from trying many healing modalities over the past two years is that the feeling of 'holy shit, that was profound!' is a surprisingly weak predictor of tangible lasting benefits, but physical tension dropping away in a new way is a strong predictor." The phrase "physical tension dropping away in a new way" is highlighted in a pink/salmon-colored box.
Screenshot of a Signal conversation. Chris Lakin sent "Checking in for long-term bounty data collection: How's everything?..." Sid replied "Yep, everything is great. I have a girlfriend now. We met in person and I asked her out. I'm happy in the relationship."

Update 2026.05: They recently celebrated one year :)

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Editor’s note: Sid’s voice was modified for privacy.

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