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Samuel Shadrach's avatar

I relate strongly to this post. This is one of those things I feel often but find uncomfortable to disclose. I love that you share it publicly. I have had periods where I spent months avoiding people or avoiding looking at their eyes because I know if I do then I will have to try and understand what they're feeling. And this will have downsides such as slowing me down on my goals.

Imagine explaining to your bike driver that you feel bad that their rearview mirror broke but you can't sit and have a long ass chat with him about it because you need to go back to your room and fix AI risk.

I also think someone who feels their emotions too strongly is less likely to accept "some harm for the greater good" and this will make them less effective in the world. Simply existing in society means you're benefitting from systems that create greater good for some harm (imagine child workers who mine the cobalt in your iphone), and this gets more intense if you actually try bending the systems to your will than just passively observing them. At extreme levels of sensitivity you might literally feel the need to isolate from society and live a more hermit life.

I don't think I will try to feel my emotions this intensely 24x7, and I want you to know the reason for it.

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Dexanth's avatar

"“Everyone around is in so much pain all the time if you look for it,” I mumbled aloud. "The flight attendant on the way here… random people... I don’t want to experience all of that constantly. Especially if I also feel responsible for fixing it.""

This just leapt right out at me with a shock of recognition - I've been aware for months now that I've been suppressing a lot of my emotional response, for exactly this reason.

I have yet to figure out a way to allow myself to feel fully without being deluged by the empathic overload from all the pain I sense out there. There's just so much, the only response is to block most of it out, and maybe, in smaller, intimate moments - 1:1, or close friends, etc - that's when I can open a door in the wall and focus on feeling them and only them.

But finding a better balance for that is a medium term goal I'm working towards.

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