Place a bounty on resolving your biggest bottleneck
I’m looking for bounties to hunt! Bounties from people who have been stuck on personal issue despite years of effort and “trying everything else”. It's a new and experimental conversational technique.
Examples:
★ (Bounty claimed, 1 conversation) A man I met at Manifest had lifelong anxiety, even after “8 years of talk therapy” and “1 year of actively seeking exposure to scary situations”. After working with me, he considers his social anxiety resolved (two months so far). He is also significantly more agentic now, as requested.
☆ (Bounty ongoing, 1 conversation) A founder in SF had a persistent inability to express attraction, even after “3 years of IFS therapy” and whatnot. He has since asked two people out comfortably.
☆ (Bounty ongoing, 3 conversations) A woman working in tech in SF struggled with lifelong self-doubt, even after “9+ years of coaching and therapy”. After working with me: “[…] The results are already telling: a disappointment that might’ve made me emotionally bleed and mope for a month was something I addressed in the matter of a couple of days with only a scoop of emotional self-doubt instead of *swimming* in self-torture. […];”
☆ (Bounty ongoing, 3 conversations) A woman: ”I have a history of complex trauma and have spent most of my life terrified and depressed.” After working with me: “I’m doing more self-improvement and productive things now. I definitely don't live in bliss every day, but I don't feel that my life or my relationship is in crisis anymore. Things feel light and hopeful.”
This is for people who really want to grow, but don’t know how.
I'm currently hunting 7+ bounties and the median is worth $10,000. I’ve rejected a few bounties below $5k recently because I don’t have time. So this is best for people who have been stuck for multiple years, “have tried everything else”, and don’t expect to resolve their issue soon otherwise.
(I’m also open to helping for free if you have status that other people would trust. I am looking to build up credibility for this.)
Any emotional, motivational, or social issue is potentially a fit. Issues relating to physical health (with no emotional, motivational, or social component) are not a fit.
You will most likely know in the first conversation whether this works for your issue.
Bounties are more incentive-aligned
Bounties encourage me to
Help you achieve your goal durably.
Use less of your time.
Not squander your energy if I can’t help.
You pay when you are satisfied.
The process is outcome-focused
I provide as much support as I believe will help your issue.
Conversations last as long as they need.
You decide when you’re ready to pay your bounty.
Expect multiple conversations for sustained results. You may make major progress in the first conversation, and then encounter challenging situations and seemingly lose progress. If this happens, just text me.
Place a bounty on your bottleneck
Apply:
Questions and special requests: chris@chrislakin.com, @ChrisChipMonk, chrislakin.com/now
chrislakin.com/bounty
Confidentiality: Information you share may be anonymized and used for improving the method. It will not be shared otherwise.
Not psychotherapy or medical treatment. I am not a licensed psychologist, psychiatrist, therapist, or medical professional. If you have mental health concerns, you should consult a qualified healthcare professional.
What’s my method?
I’ve developed it by intuition, so it’s not something I can explain explicitly, but I can try.
I am not a psychologist. I am an independent experimenter.
I don’t ask about your past (unless you desire to change your interpretation of it). I help you improve your predictions in the present.
I don’t try to convince you that your fears are unlikely. I help you make it okay even if they come true.
I don’t tell your predictions how to be. I lead a Socratic Dialogue and we trust that your predictions are doing their best.
I take inspiration from Predictive Processing: “the brain is a multi-layer prediction machine” (Scott Alexander).
[See Book Review: Surfing Uncertainty | Slate Star Codex and also Multiagent Models of Mind by Kaj Sotala. I summarize what I find helpful about these models in Unconscious Predictions.]
My model: All individuals unknowingly hold mental predictions which are locally optimal but not globally optimal. Common ones sound like “The only way I can feel okay is if other people like me” and “The only way I can feel good is if I’m productive”.
People thrive when these predictions and untangled and integrated with everything else in your mind.
Through a Socratic Dialogue, I help you quickly find and integrate the predictions you want.
Then, once we make progress, we “red team” your mental predictions so that they are durable against situations that may trigger you.
I also teach you how to update your predictions on your own without me.
Conversations last as long as they need, and we have as many conversations as you need. Depending on your level of conditioning and your agency, it may take 1–4 conversations or more for you to fully untangle your predictions.
Refined through self-experimentation
I was once depressed, anxious, less agentic, validation-seeking, insecure, failing at boundaries, dissociated, emotionally numb, self-rejecting, and suffering from chronic pain.
The undoing took two years.
I could help my younger self much quicker now.
I used to do this pro bono (reviews), but I shifted to focusing on people who are committed to resolving valuable and extremely sticky issues.
This was significantly more productive than my last 6 months of CBT and talk therapy. —Camille (one three-hour conversation)
Bounties ★ claimed
★ Anxiety → Agency, Excitement
Bounties ☆ hunting
☆ Self-doubt → Confident decision-making
A woman working in SF after 3 conversations / 3 weeks:
I went to Chris with a torrent of responsibilities and a key decision looming ahead of me this month. I felt overwhelmed, upset, and I didn’t want just talk
Having engaged in 9+ years of coaching and therapy with varying levels of success, I’m probably one of the toughest clients — equal parts hopeful and skeptical. Chris created an incredibly open space where I could easily tell him if I didn’t know something, or couldn’t feel something, or if I’m overthinking. He also has an uncanny sense of intuition on these things and a strong attunement to being actually effective
The results are already telling: a disappointment that might’ve made me emotionally bleed and mope for a month was something I addressed in the matter of a couple of days with only a scoop of emotional self-doubt instead of *swimming* in self-torture. The lag time of actually doing things to be there for myself was significantly quicker, warmer, and more effective
To-dos that felt very heavy lightened up considerably and began to feel fun again and as ways of connecting!
I’ve now started to predict happier things ahead with more vivid, emotionally engaged, and realistic detail. I’ll continue being intensely focused this year for the outcomes I want, but I’m actually looking forward to it! Will reflect back on Month 2!
☆ Fear → Comfort expressing attraction
An SF founder in his 30s after 1 conversation / 2 weeks:
After working with Chris, I learned One Weird Trick to go after what I really want and feel okay no matter what happens.
This is a new skill I didn’t learn in 3 years of IFS therapy.
I already feel more confident being myself and expressing romantic interest (and I already have twice, that's new).
☆ Crisis → Light and hopeful
An anonymous woman after 3 conversations / 7 weeks:
I have a history of complex trauma and have spent most of my life terrified and depressed. I'd also read countless self-help books and have seen a few therapists. I met Chris when my life and relationship were both in crisis, and decided to give it a try.
I started my sessions with Chris during the same week I'd started an antidepressant. In the past I'd tried a few antidepressants, but medication alone didn't seem to help with my problems. Chris was incredibly patient with me untangling all of my worries, and was available when I was panicking and really needed to talk to someone. The unlimited variable-length sessions and texting was an incredibly effective form.
Chris helped me realize that I have all these "landmines" in my mind -- life scenarios that I could never allow to happen because if they did then I'd be stuck in a lifetime of misery and life would no longer be worth living. And my mind was constantly vigilant about any sign that my life could be headed into a bad direction, and then I'd react as if the disaster was already happening. Chris suggested that it was possible for me to feel okay with my life even if one of these "landmine" scenario happened.
After a few sessions, a lot of conversations with my partner, time for the antidepressant to set in, and reading, my relationship with these "landmines" went from "things I'm so scared to think about so I flinch" to "it would really suck if that happened, but if I'm really in that scenario I'd probably lean on whatever help I could get to figure out what to do, but I don't need to enter disaster preparation mode now." I also got better at catching myself entering an anxiety loop and giving myself a moment to pause and calm down. I'm generally more compassionate with myself, I am okay with myself feeling fear, hurt, angry, etc. without taking that as an indication that something is seriously wrong in my life and I need to do something about it. I've also become better at talking about relationship problems with my partner without getting angry at my projected disaster scenario.
I used to resent the way my life turned out, and was also afraid of stopping the resentment because I worried that it would make me complacent. Chris has helped me lose some of the resentment, and I didn't become complacent at all -- in fact, I'm doing more self-improvement and productive things now.
I definitely don't live in bliss every day, but I don't feel that my life or my relationship is in crisis anymore. Things feel light and hopeful.