In yesterday’s post, I featured @Pear_with_legs’s success story:
Today he shared how he mitigated his own external bottlenecks, which I’ve cleaned up below:
(1) I need to be relaxed for any of this stuff to work. Stressors prevent relaxation regardless of whether they are socially acceptable. If you’re naturally fat like me the signal to “EAT EAT EAT EAT” is so overwhelming that I can’t do any inner work at all
(2) Sleep apnea is completely crippling. Every description of sleep apnea under describes the magnitude of how bad it destroys your ability to function. Your ability to *change* as a person over a long period of time just disappeared. Inner work just didn’t function until I got it treated. I think sleep is under-appreciated as a factor that you have to fix first
none of the stuff that works amazing rn worked before I got my sleep in a good position
(3) I’m naturally very tense. I think inner work will *eventually* fix this but it blocks your ability to do inner work in the mean time
So for me focusing on practices that just made me physically relaxed was way more important than like therapeutic practices. this includes exercise and nature. Like running, lifting weights, walking in old growth forests was outright more effective for me than most intentional practices
(replying to #1) Can’t emphasize this enough. A very large number of people like me have wildly too high appetites. This just destroys your ability to function. Like I could barely think before I got on retatrutide. Working with @myayu_health has fully resolved this, fixing up my diet was a similar magnitude of making inner work function as getting on retatrutide or getting on a cpap was. Like meditation *literally did not work* until I fixed my diet, then I fixed it and suddenly it works.
Also for inner work, because I am not relaxed I have to do a bunch of stuff to make me relaxed. Then it works. Like if we compare an hour of IFS or core transformation to 30 minutes of prep plus 30 minutes of IFS, the latter wins. 50 minutes of preparation and 10 minutes of IFS still wins. At this point I just don’t even bother with a practice unless i’m in a state where that practice can actually work.
Exercise, metta, IPF, talking to people, and being in nature work best for me as prep.
I think that the principle is that you need to feel safe for this to work, and there’s like a million times more things that can make you feel unsafe than people intuitively think. Like physical danger, but also are you hungry, anxious, do you trust the person in front of you, are you thirsty, have you been doomscrolling, have you been inside all day, like there’s a lot of shit that can make you feel unsafe, literally all of these block me partially or completely, prerequisites are a big thing.
I think that’s everything.
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