Surely there is a point after which it’s proven that these aren’t misunderstandings, and they really are willing to hurt you? Or at least deliberately intimidate you? Then do you get to be anxious without feeling like it’s your own fault?
I feel like a lot of my difficulties in conflicts actually comes not from fear of getting hurt myself, but from fear of hurting the other person (which then would be my fault).
Seems like there are different types of conflict anxiety like there are types of relationship insecurity (like anxious, avoidant)?
I'm skeptical of this crisply-curious "oh that's so interesting, what makes you say that??" frame because 99% of the time it's clearly just a veneer of performative even-temperedness masking ordinary ego-driven hostility. People put it on because they like how they sound with it on. I'd like to hear some treatment of the differences between that and the real thing
Yeah https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agonism
Surely there is a point after which it’s proven that these aren’t misunderstandings, and they really are willing to hurt you? Or at least deliberately intimidate you? Then do you get to be anxious without feeling like it’s your own fault?
some of us have an evil coworker or two, in an otherwise satisfying workplace
I feel like a lot of my difficulties in conflicts actually comes not from fear of getting hurt myself, but from fear of hurting the other person (which then would be my fault).
Seems like there are different types of conflict anxiety like there are types of relationship insecurity (like anxious, avoidant)?
Do you fear hurting the other person or them being hurt? The former is selfish the latter is selfless.
Anyways if you're surrounded by fragile vulnerable people get as far away, as fast as possible. You'll never get anything meaningful done
I'm skeptical of this crisply-curious "oh that's so interesting, what makes you say that??" frame because 99% of the time it's clearly just a veneer of performative even-temperedness masking ordinary ego-driven hostility. People put it on because they like how they sound with it on. I'd like to hear some treatment of the differences between that and the real thing
It’s hard to remember that people are like this. They remind you quite clearly when you forget, though.