As someone used to have severe social anxiety and still medaicated, as i got to know more people i realized everyone is as fucked up as i am and i am not boring and weird as i thought i was. Sure more people dislike me but still they are still as fucked up as i am but in a different way so its fine
i suffered intensely from social anxiety in my teen years and still do, though i’ve made great progress. this was a perfect explanation - the anxiety signals danger because, often in the past for those who suffer from it, to be disliked actually was dangerous in some capacity. it becomes so hard to fight it because our minds and bodies want to protect us from the very real harm we endured. such a simple explanation yet rarely considered.
This is a great read, thanks! I've never considered myself to be a socially anxious person, but I know that I devalue my own opinions a lot in social settings because I don't have the confidence to fight for what I think is right always. I am trying to embrace more discomfort in my life. So thanks again for a great read!
much of Atlas Shrugged, of all things, is about this. The primary behavior pattern that makes the villains villainous is that instead of trying do what is right/best, they choose the action that covers their ass and avoids them getting blamed
This is also how to think about creating art: if you make things no one dislikes you're being boring. If you're maximizing how much your stuff is of your self you're getting somewhere (and some people will hate it)
This is one of those “obvious” things that nonetheless needs to be pointed out because people are often poor at understanding their own behaviour
This is spot on—speaking from experience.
As someone used to have severe social anxiety and still medaicated, as i got to know more people i realized everyone is as fucked up as i am and i am not boring and weird as i thought i was. Sure more people dislike me but still they are still as fucked up as i am but in a different way so its fine
Laughed audibly when I hit the callout quote from the stupid Zizian Harry Potter thing. Goofy ahhhhhhhhh
The Courage to Be Disliked is the best "self help" adjacent book I've ever read.
i suffered intensely from social anxiety in my teen years and still do, though i’ve made great progress. this was a perfect explanation - the anxiety signals danger because, often in the past for those who suffer from it, to be disliked actually was dangerous in some capacity. it becomes so hard to fight it because our minds and bodies want to protect us from the very real harm we endured. such a simple explanation yet rarely considered.
I agree
This is a great read, thanks! I've never considered myself to be a socially anxious person, but I know that I devalue my own opinions a lot in social settings because I don't have the confidence to fight for what I think is right always. I am trying to embrace more discomfort in my life. So thanks again for a great read!
much of Atlas Shrugged, of all things, is about this. The primary behavior pattern that makes the villains villainous is that instead of trying do what is right/best, they choose the action that covers their ass and avoids them getting blamed
This is also how to think about creating art: if you make things no one dislikes you're being boring. If you're maximizing how much your stuff is of your self you're getting somewhere (and some people will hate it)
Simple, beautiful insight, connected to the right metaphors/analogies.