There's this popular idea that socially anxious folks are just dying to be liked.
This is spot on—speaking from experience.
This is one of those “obvious” things that nonetheless needs to be pointed out because people are often poor at understanding their own behaviour
Almost correct (in my experience).
My process: be charming/meeting people-self --> people like me --> withdraw/be silent to protect being liked (a.k.a. optimize for not being disliked)
This is also how to think about creating art: if you make things no one dislikes you're being boring. If you're maximizing how much your stuff is of your self you're getting somewhere (and some people will hate it)
Simple, beautiful insight, connected to the right metaphors/analogies.
This is spot on—speaking from experience.
This is one of those “obvious” things that nonetheless needs to be pointed out because people are often poor at understanding their own behaviour
Almost correct (in my experience).
My process: be charming/meeting people-self --> people like me --> withdraw/be silent to protect being liked (a.k.a. optimize for not being disliked)
This is also how to think about creating art: if you make things no one dislikes you're being boring. If you're maximizing how much your stuff is of your self you're getting somewhere (and some people will hate it)
Simple, beautiful insight, connected to the right metaphors/analogies.